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High maintenance person


Years old: 48
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Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental high maintenance person. Read full profile. Are you a low maintenance person, like me? You can relate to the definition which says that you do not need a lot of attention to function normally. This covers a wide spectrum, in my opinion. Anything from the workplace, clothes, shopping, getting ready, to finding out where your ificant other is stuck in traffic.

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in. T here are women on the far end of the spectrum, who proudly claim their high-maintenance status as a badge of honor, a membership into an exclusive club alongside Kim K and other famous-for-being-famous women. The click-click-click of their echoing stilettos entering a room before they do. They are unapologetically high maintenance person, the emotional expenditure they require from a partner rival a full-time job, or at least a very demanding hobby.

And yes, there are the women at the extreme low end as well, who embody the color beige.

If your girlfriend raises too many of these red flags, move on.

Ones who take no interest or pleasure in adornment or taxing grooming rituals. Their semblance camouflages softly into the background, leaving partners unable to determine what their position is on anything, regardless of importance. Then there are the remaining women.

The clear stereotypes of women are easy to categorize into high or low maintenance. So that leaves the rest of us, who fall somewhere high maintenance person one or two standard deviations of average definition of high maintenance. Who knows, I may be one of those women. An exchange with a fella who I briefly dated years ago stirred up this pondering when he balked at my statement of me being low maintenance.

I was referencing that I was sleeping in my Prius three states away from home on a spontaneous winter road trip.

He reminded me of his three-years-prior last-minute assembling craft show displays and schlepping lip gloss-stuffed boxes for my biggest event of the year. His insistence that I was out-of-control high maintenance because I asked him to help me with a craft show while he had a cold.

I was on my feet for 50 hours over three days and I had the wild audacity to ask for a backrub after the event when he had a cold. On a serious note, the idea of being high maintenance is so ambiguous, it is difficult to define.

Hint: it’s not you, it’s them.

The problem with defining this remaining group of women is that is covers a vast range of real estate. In other words, how do I know if am I high maintenance?

And why do I care? I worry about giving more than my share in a relationship. I worry about doing good in the world. This should be our focus, ladies. Being called high maintenance represents a manipulation.

Is low-maintenance a compliment?

Which, clearly, is gross. It suggests your standards are unreasonably high. Or you make drama. Or you are heaven forbid a bitch.

2. you are always ready first.

Ladies, lets stop this! What I think it comes down to is perception of effort exerted. Let the Mr. Wrongs weed themselves out. And clearly, to the dude I dated, the pros of dating me were not outweighing the cons. The key is the imbalance.

How can one boyfriend find my needs to be no big deal and eager to accommodate, yet another finds my requests ridiculous.

Do I get to be more of a pain in the ass if I offer something subjectively deemed worthy by my partner? Clearly, some men are just better at bringing more emotionally to the table.

1. you wear the essentials.

High maintenance person must be some evolved men willing to share the responsibility of mental labor that a relationship entails and expect to carry their own weight. Surely some men understand a woman simply having opinions does not make her selfish or a bitch. Was he insinuating that he would be more willing to treat me well if I was ok with having unprotected sex with a stranger? That guy can eat a bag of dicks.

What does it mean to be a low-maintenance woman?

I am too old and secure to prove my worth to some wannabe. The trash takes itself out. Instead of worrying about some bullshit title of high maintenance, I propose using this as a deal breaker. So, screw those guys. Obviously, not literally.

And who the fuck wants to be in a relationship like that? So the next time someone calls you high maintenance, call them an EX. Cynical Optimist. Unapologetically Eccentric.

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